Whatever Happened To Roguelikes?

Back when I was a kid, all we needed to have fun was a procedurally generated map and whole mess of RNG loot. Ahhh, the good old days. Truly, I miss those days. Back when a young person could spend days losing themself in Nethack without a thought or care in the world for the mundanity of modern life. Nowadays it's all fast-paced battle royale games, with gamers hopped up on vape smoke and energy drinks, ripping around on their Razers and Rosewills. I heard a statistic the other day, in fact. Cherry Reds are all the rage, and over 60% of gamers now use a specialized gaming mouse and keyboard. What happened to the shallow, insanely repetitive gameplay? What happened to the blocky, difficult to interpret graphics? To the uneven and asymmetrical AI enemies? To the simplistic map design? What happened to the joy of gaming? It's all been ruined, if you ask me. And you are asking me! I'm right here. Okay, grandpa, let's get you to bed. Sorry about that. Pawpaw got onto my account again. See, my grandfather tends to wax rhapsodic about the old days, but he doesn't seem to understand that we still have roguelikes. We still have all the stuff he liked, in fact. He just has a little trouble with information diffusion and filtering. The huge glut of games makes it hard for him to keep track of what's what. And I can't blame him! There were a lot less options back in the day. People still like Miller Lite, after all. Sometimes they didn't have any other options! I've been telling Pawpaw there's no reason to get upset, but he just tells me to turn up the Dig Dug. What can you do? I still love him. Not a huge problem, though. He still comes around once in awhile, for a really good game. One day, I hope I'm like him. I hope I can still enjoy the novelty and innovation. Even if it's hard to admit. And it might be. THE END